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My Blog List

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

True Living... The Small Things

The thought that I was once scared of thirty makes me realize that I was not living life to it's full potential. I thought I had to beat the guy on the other side of the world or living room at the game. I thought I had to know if Elena ended up with Damon (for the sixth time mind you). I thought true parenting comes at teenage years...

The t.v. hasn't been turned on in weeks unless it's watching Disney movies on Thursday's night. The gaming system have only been touched with a feather duster except the Wii. And quite honestly? I feel younger than I did at 22. I think it's because I have discovered what really matters in this life. It's finding causes that you believe in and giving it your all. 

Matthew and I were even joking about how much more money we have saved by turning off the tv and getting off our butts. I have slowly started becoming active again since having Kate. The baby weight is completely off too and my stomach needs some toning but that's to be expected. We have been playing Just Dance on the Wii with the kids. It's hilarious watching Matthew, all six feet and five inches and 310 pounds of him, dancing with the kids. I love watching it. You can't buy that kind of entertainment. 

As far as our relationship? We feel closer than ever. You read that right. We can't have sex right now and yet we are closer than ever. I think it's because we have reverted to back when were just friends. Dancing in the front yard after washing the cars completely drenched after the hose pipe fight. Listening to him about his work even though of it is greek to me. Play the piano together once the kids are asleep with candles lit. 

That man still makes me weak in the knees after all this time. Matthew is and always be Sex on the Beach to me. Just seeing his uniform hanging up reminds the dedication he has put to his country and the dedication he has put to bettering himself. There are the times where I am worried when he gets called to duty but I knew that since the moment he sauntered into my bar in his uniform. 

It's going up to my son's room and smelling the cedar smell he loves so much. Asking for his new drawings because he always has something new for me to scan into my computer. It's the eating at Cracker Barrel because it's his favorite and he eats the most there. It's playing the peg game and watching him get at himself and showing him the cheating way because I memorized that a long time ago.

It's seeing AJ stand up and walk to me because he wants his ball so bad. It's hearing him say "woll wide" and grinning at Matthew's crushed face. War Tide, Baby. It's knowing that AJ won't have to go stay at one or the other's parent's house. It's seeing him doing his bath dance when Matthew gives him a bath.

It's hearing Bella act out her little skits knowing how badly she wants to be an actress. It's watching her give away her tiaras to sick little girls. It's watching her become a humble child. It's putting the top down and watching her sing her heart out. 

It's realizing that Kate is still size the baby doll even after all this time. It's watching her swing in her cradle. The holding her close while she nurses. It's finding Matthew awake just watching her. The hiding in the bathtub while Matthew is hogging her anyhow. 

It's finding my niece working on her planner. Her telling me I am old. The squeals erupting because Disney gets a day closer each day. It's the hugs and telling me I am back to being normal. It's the laughter of bunch of kisses being placed. 

Watching my baby twin sisters continue their families. Ridge overcoming a miscarriage. Bre finally giving birth to a real Ray. It's them laughing at each other's parenting style. The laughter we all share at how we born to give birth. Don't fret we can repopulate the world if needed to be.

It's my cousin's girlfriend asking me to her bridesmaid. It's hearing her in awe of my cousin when I knew him when he was the geeky kid trying to fit in the cool kids. Realizing how happy my cousin is with her that he is singing and taking pictures again. 

It's these little things and more that me glad I got to thirty to experience.


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